Choose Life

Today we’re talking about choosing life. How can we get to the space and place where we choose ourselves? What does it look like to recognize and accept the goodness we deserve to live in light and truth? 

Choosing life means you remember that:

You have options, there is always a better choice

Don’t sit or settle where you don’t shine 

Your worth is more than a moment, nothing lasts forever

If you were blessed by what you heard, share the goodness. Let's connect at https://www.loveworthwork.com

Transcript

0:00:00 - (Renada): Hey. Hey. Good day. Good day. I pray that this would be your blessing and your mindset that today is a good day, that you are deserving of having a good day. And not only that, but this day was designed by the creator of heaven and earth. For your good in this day holds everything that you need to be the best version of yourself for yourself so that you have the opportunity to see you, to be you, to be blessed and built the way that you were designed to be so that you succeed.

0:00:45 - (Renada): So let's start this day with some self love, with some self worth and some real self work, because you deserve that. You deserve to have what you need to be the best version of who you are, to get that goodness that you deserve. I am Renata. I'm so glad that you are here. Welcome. I appreciate and thank you for listening. And just know that because you are here, I am praying for you. I am expecting goodness for you. I am wishing the best for you.

0:01:29 - (Renada): Because today that is part of what we are talking about. We are talking about choosing life. How can we get to the space where we choose ourselves? And not only how do we choose ourselves, but what does it look like to recognize and accept the goodness that we deserve, to live in light and truth? That is a big question. That is a question that requires some real self truthing, some real awareness being present in this moment to fully get all of this.

0:02:16 - (Renada): Because we're going to talk about it. And before we start talking about it, there are some things that I think we need to know and hold on to as truths as we move throughout this conversation. Because it is really easy to get into the habit of not choosing yourself. It is really easy to get into the habit of not choosing life and not even realizing that you're not choosing life. But where the monotony of time, the mundane sense of not meeting your own expectations or never living up to the obligations of others can slowly chip away at your desire to choose life, to choose yourself.

0:03:05 - (Renada): So we're going to talk about it today and these truths that we are going to have and hold through this conversation, there are three of them. There are threefold. The first one is you have options. There is always a better choice. You have options, and there is always a better choice. Number two, don't sit or settle where you don't shine. Don't sit or settle where you don't shine. Number three, your worth is more than a moment.

0:03:59 - (Renada): Nothing lasts forever. Your worth is more than a moment. It is not momentary, and nothing lasts forever. Okay, we got those. We're going to breathe that in. Let that stay at the top of our minds, at the center of our focus as we go through the rest of this conversation. So let's start with this question. Have you ever been in a situation that caused you to not see yourself or to doubt who you were?

0:04:48 - (Renada): Have you ever been in an encounter that made it difficult for you to be true to you? What did that impress on you? How does that still show up for you today? In your habits, in your nature, in your values? What impression did that leave? Those are some real things to think about, right? Because situations that cause us not to see ourselves or to doubt who we are or not to be able to be ourselves, those are the situations that either sometimes leave a little bit of trauma, a residual of regret if we allow it to.

0:05:40 - (Renada): Those are the hard moments, right? Those are the moments where there is some real emotion attached and it requires some self work to get to the root of the why and then to move beyond that. So for me, one of those moments was this year in working with a nonprofit after relocating back to Texas to take this job that I had been offered. And everything seemed right about the job. There was great diversity in the company.

0:06:26 - (Renada): There was a lot of saying the right things, the mission seemed great. But it was those little slights, those norms that become a part of a company culture that cause you to question yourself or to really say, am I valued here? Is this a part of who I am? Is this reflective of the good that I bring, of the intention of who I am? Are my boundaries being respected? And whenever a situation causes you to have to ask yourself those questions, there's some work that needs to be done, there's some reconciling that needs to take place. And you have to ask yourself, am I choosing myself?

0:07:23 - (Renada): Or is there something else that is motivating my decision? Have I accepted some kind of deception or lie? Am I not living under the truth of knowing that I have options? Am I sitting where I don't shine? Am I making my worth connected to something that is momentary? And so then when you start to grapple with that, then you have to say, okay, what does this mean? What does this mean for me? How do I move forward from here?

0:08:14 - (Renada): That is a real question. So this is real life happening right now for me, for my husband too. We are both in this space. I think because of who he is, it's a little bit different. His process is different. So where we are right now is understanding that as our children grow up, we have to give them the opportunity to really come into themselves, to be able to make the types and kinds of decisions that reflect their values and are representative of who they are, even if it's something that we don't agree with.

0:09:08 - (Renada): And personally, right now, we are in a season of coming to terms with the changing landscape of middle school and high school. One of our children loves the school that they are in, and the other one is settling. There could be things that are better, but I'll be here, I'll stay here. And as a mom, everything in me screams, oh, please don't settle. Do not sit where you don't shine. Right? Because if they learn to settle now, then it becomes a norm later.

0:09:58 - (Renada): If you learn to sit where you don't shine, if you are settling in places that were not made for you, you're essentially shrinking to fit. That is going to become your norm. And so we had to have a real conversation today because I needed them to understand. Both of them. Regardless of whether you like where you are or whether you are just settling for this moment, for this time. I need you to understand that if at any point in time you don't see yourself or it makes it hard for you to see and remember who you are, you need to choose different.

0:10:40 - (Renada): Because you have choices. There is always a better option. And sometimes we get comfortable in saying, oh, well, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. This can be a truth. Yes. But if where you are is in a landfill, if you have settled in a landfill, the grass probably is greener on the other side. If you have made it a norm to accept this choice as the only option, how do you know that you're not settling?

0:11:33 - (Renada): How do you know that where you are isn't where you were intended to be? There's always another option. There is always a better way, there's always a better choice, and you deserve that better choice. Choosing life means I am not going to accept that I can't do anything about this circumstance. So if you are in a job that every day you go to this place and every day there's something new that happens that is causing you to lose sight of who you are, you don't have to stay there.

0:12:25 - (Renada): There is another choice. There is another option. Your gifts, your talents, the goodness of who you are doesn't just exist in this finite space. It's not just made to shrink and fit into obligation and expectation. There is better and you deserve better. And I told them, if at any moment you begin to feel like you're being diminished, you begin to feel like what's happening is meant to move you and to get you to accept what is less than who you are, you have to say something.

0:13:14 - (Renada): You have to do something different. You are required to choose life. Why required? Because it was a commandment. It is a command. Choose life. Deuteronomy 3019. Moses is talking to the people of Israel and he is telling them, look, these are all of the things that the Lord intends. He intends goodness for you. He intends prosperity for you. He intends peace for you. He intends life and light for you.

0:13:45 - (Renada): But you also have the opportunity and the option to choose the opposite of all of that if that is what you desire. And sometimes we don't even recognize that we have made our option destruction, that we have made our option diminishing. We have made our option lack or less because our habits and our nature are such that we don't recognize our worth and our value. We say, oh, well, I guess this is as good as it's ever going to get.

0:14:23 - (Renada): Why? Why? Especially when John 1010 says that the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. So if you're in a place that is stealing your joy and your peace, if you are in a destructive environment that is diminishing who you are, if there is a situation that you are in the middle of that is killing your sense of worth, that is not what you were created for. Because the Lord God himself says, I came so that you would have life and have it to the fullest.

0:15:02 - (Renada): Choose life. You don't have to sit where you don't shine. You don't have to settle where you don't shine. There is always another option. And sometimes we get into the space where we feel forced to make a decision. I remember earlier this year, my husband and I were having a conversation and we had made a purchase just to come back and feel as if, man, why did we make that purchase? What was the motivating factor for that? Did we feel forced to do that in that moment?

0:15:43 - (Renada): And why did we feel forced? And after having that conversation, we came to the decision that we will not make any decision in a hurry. We will not make any rushed decisions because we don't want to have to get to the space where we're regretful or where we feel as if we've not been true to who we are based on making a decision. So if somebody comes to us and says, oh, this is the last day, you can do it, this is the final offer, this is the last moment, oh, well, it wasn't meant for us because we're not making any rushed decisions.

0:16:31 - (Renada): We're going to sit with a decision. We're going to evaluate our options. We're going to weigh the benefits of what we're spending, of where we're giving our energy, of where we're giving our time and our resources, because there is always another option, there is always a better choice. And you don't have to settle. If in fact the Lord God Almighty sent his son to this planet to sacrifice his life for the good of who you are, and he came so that you would have life to the fullest. He is telling you, choose life.

0:17:17 - (Renada): There is always another way. Never feel forced to accept something that does not align with the vision of who you are with the vision of what you see for yourself as good if it doesn't hold true to your worth. This is a truth. It's the same as saying, okay, if I'm a gardener, if I expect to produce a harvest, if I'm expecting abundance, if I'm expecting good from where I'm giving my time and my energy and my resources as a gardener as a farmer, as a rancher.

0:18:06 - (Renada): I'm not going to try or attempt to grow things in conditions that would actually destroy whatever it is I'm planting or whatever it is I'm farming. That is counterproductive. You are your own best fruit. So if you are creating the environment that does not help to cultivate the goodness that you deserve, that if it doesn't give life to you, if it doesn't bring light to you, why would you settle where you can't shine?

0:18:49 - (Renada): You're not going to plant something where there's no good soil, where there's not enough water, and where the sun doesn't shine. That wouldn't make sense. So why would you accept for yourself an environment or condition that doesn't give you the opportunity to be built and blessed? Because your worth is not momentary. Your worth is more than a moment. And that's the start of this. You have to know your worth.

0:19:30 - (Renada): What are your gifts? What are your talents? What do you hold that brings value to the spaces that you exist in, the power of your presence? These are the things that you might dismiss every day. When people say, oh, we're so glad that you're here, and you say, oh, well, they say that to everybody. No, they're saying it to you because you are worthy of understanding that your presence is powerful. When you give your time, when you give your insights, when you share what you know, when your creativity shows up in a space where people say, oh, I'm so glad you brought that up, or oh, I wouldn't have even thought of that. When people say, oh, well, your smile just blessed my heart, or you brightened my day with what you said, that's when your worth is seen.

0:20:32 - (Renada): That's when your worth is immediately recognized. And sometimes we get into the habit of just shrugging it off like it's nothing. But you must know your worth. You must understand that everywhere you go, a space is made better just because you were there. Every time you speak and use your voice and you understand and recognize that your voice is valuable, that the gifts and the talents that you were given are unique to you.

0:21:06 - (Renada): Nobody else can do what you do the way that you do it, because they weren't designed to. That only comes from you. That's your worth. That's your value. And your worth is not momentary. It's not just in that one time that you did that thing, that one place. You carry that with you everywhere that you go, every day, that is you. That is the essence of who you are. You must know your worth. And then you have to speak what is right.

0:21:46 - (Renada): If you don't speak up for yourself, if you allow yourself to come into agreement with the things that are diminishing, with the things that are not true about who you are, with the things that are not reflective and honorable to you, you will end up saying, well, I guess this is as good as it's ever going to get. Or you will end up allowing yourself to sit where you don't shine. You will find yourself in friendships where you're the only one doing the giving.

0:22:23 - (Renada): You will find yourself trying to fulfill other people's expectations and obligations just to prove your worth. You will end up in situations that always seem somehow to never work out the way that you intended for them to. Because if you are not speaking up for yourself, if you are not honoring your name, your values, if you are not reinforcing your boundaries, if you are not putting yourself in the position to say, I don't have to. Accept this. I don't have to sit where I don't shine, I don't have to come into agreement with this.

0:23:05 - (Renada): I don't have to say Ha, yes, or laugh or somehow accept the diminishing things that you're saying about me, even if it's just a joke to you. It's not funny. That's not who I am. That is not true about me. Because your silence is acceptance. Your silence when someone wants you to come into alignment with what is not true about you or what does not honor your values, what does not respect your boundaries, when you say nothing, you are giving them the understanding that they get to decide for you.

0:23:54 - (Renada): That is the opposite of choosing life. You choose life for yourself. Nobody else can do it for you. You have to stand in your space, in the space carved out for you and say, I don't agree with that. I'm not willing to accept that. No, that's not my responsibility. No, I'm sorry, I don't think that's funny. I actually find that offensive. Please don't talk to me that way. And if you're not in that space where you're bold enough to do that, yet ask a question, that's where it starts with asking questions, because your questions will reveal the intention of somebody else's comment or statement. I'm sorry, can you clarify what you meant when you said, I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but I'm having a hard time following here.

0:24:48 - (Renada): Can you please restate? It didn't quite sit right with me when you said you deserve to speak up for yourself. You deserve to make it known that you're not going to sit where you don't shine and that you know, there's a better choice. There is a better option. I try to tell my children, and I know that they're probably in a space where it's one of those full circle things, like when they're 25, they'll call me one day and they'll be like, mom, you were so right. Yeah, mom, we get it now, okay? I am willing to accept that that has to happen.

0:25:30 - (Renada): I did not like it at first as an idea because I'm sharing all of this goodness, all of this knowledge with you guys that I wish somebody had told me when I was in middle school and high school. But I get it full circle. It'll come full circle. But they'll call me one day because I tell them all the time, when you do what everybody else does, you get what everybody else gets. And a lot of people are okay with just accepting whatever, but that is outside of who you are. When you are choosing life, you're not going to just accept whatever. You're going to know. I have options.

0:26:13 - (Renada): And when you walk into a room like I have options, the way that people engage with you, the way that they see and respect your boundaries, the way that they're willing to understand and the way that they're willing to respond changes because you're choosing life. And sometimes they may challenge you, sometimes they may not. Like that you're choosing life and that you're not going to sit where you don't shine, that you're not going to just accept this thing because you know you have options.

0:26:49 - (Renada): That you know that your value and your worth is not momentary. There will be people who don't like that. But guess what the beauty of it is? That's not your problem. That's not your responsibility. Everybody gets to choose their own choosings. Everybody gets to think their own thinks. It is not your job to be the manager of people's emotions, to be the manager of their thoughts, to be the manager of their words.

0:27:17 - (Renada): You can only do what you were made to do, and that is to give yourself the goodness that you were created to hold and have and share with those around you. That's it. Proverbs 21 21. When you pursue righteousness, when you are in line with what is right, correct and true for you, you find life and honor and righteousness people will respond. Situations will go according to the way that you are intending because you're sowing in that direction with your time, with your energy, with your resources.

0:28:08 - (Renada): And you're doing it in a way that says, I am choosing life so where everybody else is, oh, I hate this place. I don't know why I come here every day. I just need the paycheck. No, that's not choosing life. That is settling. Because obviously you feel like you're not shining here. And I don't settle where I don't shine. So I'm going to choose to walk in and say, this is another day where I get to be intentional, where I get to sow into myself, where I get to show that I understand that my worth is not momentary and my worth is not just tied to a job.

0:28:49 - (Renada): My worth is not just tied to a task. My worth precedes me. It goes in before me because I understand that my voice is valuable and that my presence is powerful. So I use my energy, my state of being. I give myself good. I hold it and I have it, and I share that with others. So if it's not going to build me, if it's not going to bless me, I don't want to participate in it. Even conversations? Even conversations.

0:29:26 - (Renada): If you are not going to be left better in that conversation than how you came, don't even bother. Because then you're saying that you don't think you have another option, that there's not a better conversation you could have, that there's nothing better that you could be doing with your time, that you're willing to settle where you're not going to shine later. Why? No. Your worth is not based on that moment.

0:29:54 - (Renada): Is there beauty in every moment when we give our best to it? Yes. But if this is not reflective of your values, of your boundaries, of honoring yourself and the vision that you have, of who you intend on being, it is not worth your time. It is not a reflection of choosing life. That's when you speak, what is right? Am I left better by being here? Am I left better by doing this? If the answer is no, don't do it.

0:30:34 - (Renada): Honor your boundaries. Reflect your values. That's when you show people that you know your worth and they will respond accordingly and then be steadfast. Don't allow people to change where you have placed your boundary. Don't allow them to change what you know is correct, right, and true about you. Pursue righteousness. Pursue what is right and good for you, because then you find life and you find honor. People will honor your boundaries. When you're steadfast, when you're moving in the direction of the vision that you have of yourself, when you wake up in the morning and you say, today I am going to give myself goodness. I will not accept anything that does not align with my values, with my intention, with what is good for me, what leaves me blessed and better than how I came.

0:31:39 - (Renada): I'm not going to accept anything less than that because I won't sit where I don't shine. I won't settle where I don't shine. Because I know I have options and I know my worth is not tied to a moment, to a person, to a job, to a place. That's not where my worth comes from. My worth comes from the goodness I was made to have and hold by the Creator of all things, the giver of life and peace and prosperity and joy and hope and salvation.

0:32:14 - (Renada): That's where my worth comes from. And if you're not being built and blessed by what you're doing, if at any point that you find it hard to see yourself, to remember who you are, to recognize yourself. You need to ask yourself, are you choosing life? If at any moment in a situation you feel like you are being humiliated, you feel like you are being diminished, you feel as though you're being demeaned by what is happening around you, by what people are expecting you to accept, what they are obligating you to, what you have obligated yourself to.

0:33:05 - (Renada): If you're in a cycle or in a loop and you are working to get out, but you keep allowing yourself to get pulled back into it, that is not choosing life. And that's when you say, okay, you know what, I need to step back from this. I need to remember my worth. I need to speak what is right. I need to be steadfast. So let's self check for a second because I know that was a lot. And choosing life looks different for everybody.

0:33:49 - (Renada): It can have different impacts. When we get to that space where we are willing to say, you know what, maybe I have been self sabotaging, maybe I have not been choosing life, that can be a hard reality to come to terms with. But the beauty of recognizing it is that you have options. You can make changes, you can choose differently. You can choose life. What is the vision that you have for yourself? Are you waking up in the morning?

0:34:35 - (Renada): Are you checking in with yourself throughout the day and saying, this is who I am. This is where I see myself. This is where I understand I have been made to be. This is the space carved out for me and I won't shrink to fit anything less than that. Is what you are in the habit of accepting reflective of the vision that you have of yourself? Are you settling in places that you don't shine? Are you allowing yourself to be friends with people who don't honor you, who don't recognize your worth and your value, who would take any moment that they possibly could to diminish you, to make you smaller? Do they want you to shrink to fit so that they don't have to do anything different?

0:35:37 - (Renada): Are you being pulled into cycles and loops because it's easier and you're saying this is as good as it's going to get? Where can you make changes? So that what you're doing reflects that you are choosing life? Does it mean that you need to be more consistent? So you need reminders in your phone, you need notes, calendar alerts, you need timers. That's okay. Give yourself that opportunity to be consistent.

0:36:25 - (Renada): Do you need to work to find your voice? Does that mean that you should be standing in front of the mirror and speaking life over yourself? You are capable, you are confident. You can do this. You deserve to be heard. Your voice is valuable, your presence is powerful. Give that to yourself. I know that it's easy to default, it's easy to stay in comfortable places. But when we are stagnant, we are not growing. So we are not choosing life when we are on autopilot.

0:37:18 - (Renada): We are not choosing life because we're not even being intentional. When we are shrinking to fit other people's expectations, when we are diminishing ourselves and our worth, when we are sitting in places where we don't shine and when we tie our worth and our value to things and people. Rather than to our gifts and our talents and the good that we were made to have and to hold as a reflection of the intention of the Most High God, of his son's sacrifice for us, where he says that we were meant to have life in abundance, to move in the direction of what is right for us, to pursue what is right for us so that we find life and honor.

0:38:20 - (Renada): We are not choosing life when we don't do that. And choosing life will look different for every person because each of our struggles are different. But when you say I must know my worth, when you say I must speak what is right, when you say I will be steadfast, you are giving yourself the opportunity to choose life. There is value in getting into the space where you are actively honoring your worth and where you are only choosing to exist in the spaces where you are being built and blessed because you know that you have options.

0:39:18 - (Renada): There is a better choice that you will not sit or settle where you don't shine and you will not tie your worth to moments that are fleeting to people or things or expectations or obligations. That is not where your worth comes from. Asking yourself about why you are doing what you're doing, who you are doing it with, what you are doing it for, even where you are doing it. If none of those questions can be answered in a way that confirms to you that your worth is being honored, that you are operating and being steadfast and honoring your boundaries and speaking up for yourself and understanding your worth, then you owe it to yourself to choose life.

0:40:37 - (Renada): Make your moments matter today and give yourself the goodness that you deserve to live in the light of truth and choose life. You were made to have and hold goodness. You deserve every opportunity to shine. And I'm not talking about shining to be flamboyant, shining out of conceit or vanity. I'm talking about shining, the kind of shining that comes from knowing that you are operating in the fullest extent of your being, to give yourself good, to share good, to honor your values, to reflect your truth, the truth of who you are, the gifts, the talents, the understanding, the creativity, the ability, the boundaries that honor you.

0:41:36 - (Renada): That kind of shining. You deserve that. Don't forget to take into tomorrow the lessons of today. And if nothing else, please remember that you have options. There is always a better choice. You do. Not have to sit or settle where you do not shine. And your worth is not momentary. It does not end in a moment. Your worth precedes you. It goes before you so that you can honor yourself, so that you can reflect your values and get the goodness that you were made to have and to hold.

0:42:27 - (Renada): I am so proud of you. And I am hoping that you will decide today to stand in those spaces made for you and say today, I choose life. Be gracious, be patient, be loving to yourself. You got this. And I am here praying for you, rooting you on, saying keep moving forward. Keep doing it. You deserve this. Yes, you deserve it. May the peace of Yah be yours. Have an amazing day. We'll talk soon. Bye. By Y'all.