Take Up Space

Renada is a motivational speaker and life coach who is passionate about helping individuals recognize their self-worth and take up space in the world. She believes that everyone has a unique purpose and is meant to make a difference in their own way.

In this episode, Renada emphasizes the importance of taking up space and standing confidently in the places that were carved out for us. She encourages listeners to give themselves self-love, recognize their self-worth, and engage in self-work. Renada reminds us that our voices are valuable and our presence is powerful, and that we should not shrink back or shy away from being fully ourselves. She shares personal anecdotes and insights to inspire listeners to embrace their uniqueness and live their truth.

Key Takeaways:

1. Give yourself grace and acknowledge your growth.
2. Give yourself permission to say yes to what builds and blesses you.
3. Advocate for yourself and reinforce your boundaries.
4. Your voice is valuable and your presence is powerful.
5. Stand in the spaces carved out for you and fulfill your purpose.

Transcript

0:00:24 - (Renada): Hey, hey. Good day. I'm so glad you're here. And I pray that this is not only your blessing, but your mindset. That of all of the days, in all of the spaces and all of the time where you could be, you are here today. You are alive today because heaven designed this day with you in mind. May that just bring smile to your face and joy to your heart to know that today holds everything that you need to be the best version of yourself, for yourself, so that you get what you deserve and have every opportunity to succeed.

0:01:07 - (Renada): I am hoping and believing that as we start this day or continue this day, wherever you are, whatever time it is, that you will enjoy the opportunity to give yourself a little bit of self love. That you will enjoy the opportunity to see and understand your self worth and that you have a willing and receptive heart for the self work that we're going to do. Because it is not only going to make you better, it is going to bless you. It is going to build around you so that you see yourself and you give yourself the opportunity to be yourself.

0:01:49 - (Renada): I am Renata. I am also so glad that you are here. I thank you for listening and sharing in this time. And so we are going to get into it today because this is one of my favorite topics. We are talking today about taking up space. Taking up space? Yes, yes. Standing, being fully and completely, confidently and assuredly all that you were designed to be. Standing in what was made for you, meant for you, marked for you, carved out just for you, signed, sealed and delivered with your name on it.

0:02:35 - (Renada): So that you recognize and understand that who you are was purposed. Who you are is powerful and you were made for your moments. It just brings a smile to my face every time that I think about it. So we're going to talk about how do we give ourselves the permission and the opportunity to stand in the places that were carved out for us so that we can be seen and heard. Not in a boastful, look at me, look at me. I need all of the attention way. No, not like that, but in the way that says, I know that my voice is valuable and I know that my presence is powerful and I reflect what I know.

0:03:27 - (Renada): I am confident in it, I am capable in it, and I live this truth in every moment of my day. Yes, that is what we are talking about today. So I'm so excited. And it is one of those topics that it could go either way. You could be kind of on the verge of conceit or kind of on the verge of low self esteem. And that's okay, because our experiences, our contexts, our encounters, they shape and inform how we see ourselves how we see and come to the world. But the beauty and the power is that there are places and spaces with your name on them that were made just for you. Nobody else can stand in them.

0:04:22 - (Renada): Nobody else can do what you were meant to do in them. Because your voice is valuable and your presence is powerful. Sometimes it can be really easy to get lost in that understanding and you see and encounter all different kinds of people in all of the different places that you go. And sometimes you can notice where someone is struggling to stand in their space, to take up space, right? They kind of shrink back or they shy away or they stand off to the side or everybody else gets to go in front of them. Everybody else gets to have and if this is you, it's okay.

0:05:10 - (Renada): It is okay because we're going to get into it today about why you matter, why you should also take up space. I used to feel compelled to speak up for the people who would step back or shy away from I would so want to make sure that they were noticed and just remind them and encourage them hey, you belong here too. Hey, come have a voice, come sit at the table. Come and do this. And it got to a place where it was almost like a spirit of demanding or commanding, forcing people to see themselves or taking charge of a situation.

0:06:11 - (Renada): And I had to learn that that's not my responsibility regardless of what I desire for this person. They have to get to the point where they see it for themselves. And that's what we are all responsible for, for ourselves. Because we can't force anybody to do or be anything but we can give ourselves the goodness that we deserve and then share that goodness with others so that they then see themselves in that light too.

0:06:45 - (Renada): Because we all deserve that. We all deserve to take up space. And there are situations in life that can give you the impression that it is not okay to take up space or that it is not okay to be heard, it is not okay to be seen. And then you grow up with this nagging thought that, oh, I shouldn't do that because it's almost like doing too much. When in reality it isn't doing too much. It's not doing too much to share your insights.

0:07:24 - (Renada): If a question is asked, it's not too much to say yes, I am here. And to be willing to stand in your space. It is not too much to not let people over talk you. It is not too much to let people diminish what you contribute. That's not too much. That is just right. That is exactly right. In the grocery store, because I am shorter, I used to work on my own to try to reach things that were up too high because I had to prove that I could do it.

0:08:12 - (Renada): And it wasn't until after I became a mom and the thought of embarrassing myself by falling off of a shelf in a store started to play in my mind. We've talked about that. That was that destructive thinking. I could see myself falling, and I would say, oh, okay, let me ask somebody. So I would ask someone, can I borrow your height? And I would tell them what I needed and ask them to get it down for me right. There's nothing wrong with asking for help.

0:08:43 - (Renada): There's nothing wrong with allowing your voice to be heard. Why would I put myself in a dangerous situation trying to prove something, to be in a space that wasn't carved out for me? That's not my height ability. That's not my reach potential. There's nothing wrong with standing in your space, with standing in the spaces carved out for you. This summer, my daughter and I attended a camp. And it was a camp for girls of color.

0:09:19 - (Renada): And the camp was about instilling confidence and bravery and reminding them of how strong they are and how creative and competent they were, how capable they were. And there was an exercise that I had the girls do. So I was the confidence counselor, and there was an exercise that I had them do where they were supposed to stand in the mirror and tell themselves that they were powerful. And they were powerful because so we had gone through the types of things that they could do in their community for themselves to give to others that proved how powerful they were.

0:10:02 - (Renada): And then they would stand in the mirror and they would say, I love myself and I am powerful because and then they would tell themselves why they were powerful. And doing that exercise, I could see how many of them weren't comfortable with taking up space. Somehow, in their minds, they had convinced themselves that it was not okay to stand and be fully them. They either avoided looking at themselves in the mirror or their voices were so low that they didn't really want to talk and make themselves heard or they couldn't think of a reason why they were powerful or why they loved themselves, even though we had talked about it before.

0:10:50 - (Renada): And that happens to us as adults. That happens to us regardless of what phase of life we're in. Sometimes our situations and our encounters can convince us that our voices are not valuable and our presence is not powerful. And so today I am here to tell you that that is not true. Not only does your voice matter and is it valuable, but it is necessary. And not only is your presence powerful, but it is intended to make a difference in the spaces that were made just for you to stand in.

0:11:38 - (Renada): How do I know this? Well, that's a great question. I will tell you how. The Lord God Almighty, who took the time and the energy and the intention to make you marvelous, to make you wonderful, to give you all of the gifts and all of the talents that you have. He said it. He said it himself, Jeremiah one five, before he knew you, before he even formed you, he knew you and he set you apart. You were predestined.

0:12:15 - (Renada): You were foreknown. Your life has intention and meaning and purpose, and that is why there is a space carved out just for you to stand in. Think about that for just a moment. Think about people that you have encountered along your life's journey, people who were forever changed because you spoke a word to them, because you shared your gifts with them, because you were willing to be who you were. And other people got to see it.

0:12:56 - (Renada): They got to bear witness to the goodness that is you. And even if they don't ever come and say a word, know that there is someone who was left forever changed, who was blessed just because you exist. I know that can be a far reaching, almost foreign thought for some of us, right? Because you just go through your day. You have all of these things that you have to do, all of this stuff that you are responsible for.

0:13:36 - (Renada): You're almost on autopilot. You barely have enough energy to give yourself. You're wondering, how did you even amass the strength to get up this morning, to start on this day, to make it through without losing your mind? So you don't even see it. You're not even thinking about it. But your life is showing somebody that it is okay to take up space. And if you are the one struggling, know that your life is purposed.

0:14:19 - (Renada): Psalm 31 eight says that the Lord has set your feet in a large place. The space carved out for you is not tiny. It is not insignificant. It is not happenstance or coincidence. It is providence and predestination, and it is on purpose because your life is important and who you are matters. So you have to give yourself permission to take up space. And there's nothing wrong with taking up space. Absolutely nothing.

0:15:06 - (Renada): There is, especially as parents or as employees or spouses, there is a prevailing thought that somehow, because you are doing this role, because you are in this role, that you have to be something to somebody, right? So if I'm a parent, then I have to be this person for my kids. If I am a spouse, then I have to be this person for my spouse. If I am an employee, then I have to be this person for my company.

0:15:49 - (Renada): Or if I'm the CEO, I have to be this person for my employees. Whether you're a supervisor, team lead shift, lead manager, we all fall into that place. If you're a teacher, I have to be this person for my students. That can become a diminisher, because sometimes we can forsake what we need or forsake what we know about who we are in order to give somebody else more of ourselves than what we're giving to us.

0:16:36 - (Renada): When I first started homeschooling, and we homeschooled on and off a couple of times, so the first time I was just determined to be this perfect teacher. I wanted to prove that I could do it, I could be this thing for my children. And so I would fill our days with things, busy our time, so that there was not a moment for doubt to creep in. If I'm doing all of these things, then how could I even possibly think or feel like I'm not enough, I'm not doing enough so much so that it started to create a disconnect between what I knew I needed and what I chose to do.

0:17:31 - (Renada): And that's when the doubt and the diminishing and the dismissal starts to set in. When you get into that space where there's a disconnect between what you know you need and what you're doing because you're not actually standing in the space carved out for you, it can start to really take a toll on your health, on your body, on your mind, on your relationships. That's a hard place to be. And those are the moments when you really start to feel like, okay, does what I'm doing even matter anymore?

0:18:15 - (Renada): Is anybody even listening to me? And so there was a moment in time where I had to say, you know what? This doesn't have to be who I am as a mom, and it doesn't have to be who I am in homeschooling. My children, they can still get everything that they need, and it actually is better for them when I'm giving myself what I need. So if we need a different schedule, if we need a different routine because I need to self care in the morning, let me do that.

0:18:59 - (Renada): If we need to do outside schooling today, where we go outside and we learn, let me do that. If we just need to stay here and there needs to be more time spent with intentional conversation, let me do that. Meeting the day by being present for myself gave me the good that I needed to be good to them. It let me stand in the place carved out for myself. This is who I am. These are my strengths. These are the things that I am challenged in doing.

0:19:39 - (Renada): This is who I know I am and how I see myself. And let me make sure that my actions reflect that. If I know that as a mother I want to be loving and patient and kind, then maybe I shouldn't busy our days to where my energy is almost on e and now I'm snappy. There's a better way to be kind. There's a better way to give intention. And standing in the places carved out for you requires constant self truthing.

0:20:16 - (Renada): It requires you checking in with yourself to make sure that you are not accepting other people's opinions, other people's expectations of who you're supposed to be. So how do we do that? How do we stand in the places carved out for us? Well, first it starts with you giving yourself grace. Give yourself some grace. Give yourself the grace to see your own growth. Have you just come out of a season where you were struggling with time management and so now you're using schedules and now you're using reminders and calendars so that you keep time on track appropriately.

0:21:06 - (Renada): Good for you. Give yourself grace to see that growth. Did you just come out of a season where you were quick to be angry with people? And so now you're trying to take a step back to mitigate the reaction time that you have so that you're not blowing up and then having to go back and apologize. Good for you. That is not easy. So give yourself grace to see your growth. Did you just come out of a season where it took all that you had to finally see yourself in the mirror, to look at yourself in the mirror and know that the face that you see in that mirror is valuable and worthy and deserves to be loved and respected and appreciated.

0:21:59 - (Renada): Good for you. You deserve that. So give yourself grace to see that growth. Don't diminish it, don't shy away from it. Don't fail to celebrate your wins. And if you're in a season where you're being challenged, give yourself grace to grow. Choose different tomorrow than you did today. If there was something that you are feeling like, oh, man, I could have done that better, I could have handled that better, I should have been better.

0:22:39 - (Renada): Acknowledging is the first step to change. Good for you for seeing it. And give yourself grace to grow. That is a sentiment that is echoed in Colossians 312, where we are told to put on compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, and patience. You have to put that on for yourself first. It says that you were chosen by the Lord God of Creation to have that for yourself first, because we've talked about that. You can't give what you don't have.

0:23:25 - (Renada): So if you're not giving yourself patience, can't be patient with other people. If you're not giving yourself compassion, you can't be compassionate with other people. Give it to yourself and be gracious with yourself. See your growth. Celebrate your wins. Be patient where you're being challenged. You deserve that. But then you also have to give yourself permission. Some of us find it so hard to say yes to ourselves.

0:24:02 - (Renada): Do you need a vacation? Yes. Do you deserve to celebrate your wins? Yes. Do you deserve to have correct boundaries that reflect your values? Yes. Do you deserve to have time to take a moment to yourself without feeling obligated or feeling like you're doing something wrong? Yes, you do. Give yourself permission. Give yourself permission. To say yes to the blessings, yes to help. Are you trying to do all of the things?

0:24:48 - (Renada): Are you trying to manage and be everybody's everything? Do you need some help? And when people ask you if they can help you, are you quick to say no when you know that you need it? We'll say yes to help today. If somebody volunteers or asks, say yes. Oh, thank you for recognizing that need. I appreciate you. Yes, yes, you can help me. It would be great if you could. Do you need to say yes to time by yourself?

0:25:22 - (Renada): You know what? I'm going to take 20 minutes today. I'm going to take 15 minutes today, and I'm just going to sit and breathe and do no things. Yes, you should. I'm going to say yes to working out. I'm going to say yes to walking outside. I'm going to say yes to getting to sleep early. I'm going to say yes to a healthier meal. I'm going to say yes to a dessert. Whatever your yes is, that leaves you better and builds you and blesses you and is in line with knowing that you deserve compassion, that you deserve goodness, that you deserve the chance to see an open door, an opportunity and walk through that open door that the Lord has provided for you.

0:26:12 - (Renada): Give that to yourself. Envision your success. Envision and see yourself blessed and built on the other side of where you are right now. Give yourself permission. If nobody else in your family went to college and that's a desire of your heart, give yourself permission to say yes. That can be my goal. If your family has a struggle with addiction and you have determined that you're going to break that cycle, give yourself permission to come out of that loop. Give yourself permission to set healthy boundaries.

0:26:50 - (Renada): Give yourself permission to see yourself in the eyes of success. What you have determined looks like championship, winning and living for you. Say yes to yourself. Give yourself permission you to be built and blessed and it doesn't have to look like anybody else's, anything. If it is a win for you to say, you know what, this relationship is not healthy for me. You know what? As a single mom, I think that I can use my time better. I think that I deserve better.

0:27:33 - (Renada): Say yes to giving yourself what you know will build and bless you, what you know will leave you better without shame, without guilt, without regret, without doubt. Say yes to the opportunity to move forward in a direction that builds you so that you can stand in the place that is carved out for you. Give yourself a voice. If you're going to be gracious with yourself and if you're going to give yourself permission to say yes, give yourself a voice, because once you've done that, you have to advocate for yourself.

0:28:23 - (Renada): You have to say, these are my boundaries. These are the things that I know I need. Ask questions. Is this the right thing for me to do? Does this align with where I see myself going? Is it worth the time and the resources and the energy that I am investing in this situation? Does this leave me better? Am I being blessed by doing this? Advocate for yourself. Ask yourself those questions because you deserve to know and you deserve to have what you are envisioning.

0:29:04 - (Renada): Become your reality by how you are choosing to live. And when you know that your voice is valuable and your presence is powerful, you don't have an issue asking questions because you want to make sure, if I know my voice is valuable, I'm not going to allow it to be silenced by other people's expectations. I'm not going to allow my voice to be silenced by shrinking to fit a space that I'm not even meant to be in.

0:29:33 - (Renada): I'm not going to let my voice be silenced by living under obligation. That does not have to be your future. That does not have to be your present. Ask questions and speak your truth in love. Reinforce that boundary. Oh, I'm sorry. I said I'm not going there. No, I'm sorry. I can't make time for that today. No, I'm not interested in participating in that thing. No, I am going to this is my break time. This is my me time.

0:30:13 - (Renada): I'm going to take some time for myself right now. Doesn't have to be aggressive, doesn't have to be angry, but you deserve to have that because your presence is powerful. And when you know your presence is powerful, you are not going to shrink to fit spaces that were not meant for you. You're not going to do it. Let us sit with that for a second. Shrinking to fit, we've all done it. At some point where you wanted to help someone, you empathized or sympathized with them.

0:31:07 - (Renada): So you shrunk yourself to fit a moment or a space that you knew, probably didn't mesh, probably did not reflect, probably didn't honor who you were made to be. You need to forgive yourself, and then you need to decide, I get to stand in the spaces carved out for me. That's okay. Proverbs 18 six says that your gifts make way for you. The way that is made for you is the space that you were intended to be in.

0:31:53 - (Renada): It is the fullness of your existence. And people get to bear witness to your goodness when you are good to yourself, when you fully stand in those places that were made for you, taking up space and giving yourself permission to have a voice and ask questions and to reinforce your boundaries and to be gracious with yourself. Other people are blessed by that. That's why it is important to speak your truth in love.

0:32:29 - (Renada): Ephesians 415 says that you deserve to speak your truth in love. You deserve to feel the sense of courage and the empowerment that comes from standing in your space. I love that in scripture, the word of the Lord says time and time again to be strong and courageous, not to be frightened, not to be fearful, not to allow anything to diminish us, not to allow anything to cloud our sense of self or to change what we understand about who we are. Because we are all called.

0:33:13 - (Renada): We are all chosen for some purpose. And sometimes the sense of that purpose, it can be a little scary, it can be a little intimidating when you understand that your life was meant to be this powerful display of goodness to yourself and then to be shared with others so that you shine, so that you stand fully empowered in the spaces carved out for you. That can be intimidating, but you deserve that. You were made for that.

0:33:52 - (Renada): Joshua One Nine reminds us to be strong and courageous. It is a commandment that you stand in the spaces carved out for you. It is a commandment that you remember that you are not alone, that you have been equipped by the Creator, that you have been designed by the Maker of all things, to hold goodness, to reflect courage, to stand in power, and to be strengthened by who you were made to be. So let's self check. Let's sit with that for a moment, because we're being built up. We're getting that confidence kicking up inside of us, and we're realizing, oh, there may be some spaces where I shrunk to fit. Oh, there may be some spaces where I'm not giving myself permission. I'm not using my voice. I'm not recognizing that my voice is valuable and my presence is powerful.

0:34:51 - (Renada): Okay, let's take that in. Let's sit with that, and let's really ask ourselves, have you made it a habit to shrink, to fit places that were not meant for you? Are you standing in the places that are carved out for you? Or are you allowing fear, doubt, dismissal of who you are, the diminishing of your gifts and your talents, of your voice and your presence? Are you allowing those to keep you from standing in the places carved out for you?

0:35:44 - (Renada): And where today can you actively work toward giving yourself grace, giving yourself permission, giving yourself a voice to be empowered, to be the best version of yourself, fully and completely standing and taking up space the way you were designed? I want you to know today that your voice is valuable. When you speak your truth in love, what you say, what you share is so necessary because it leaves a legacy, and it has the power to change how people understand and see the world, how they see life, how they see themselves.

0:36:46 - (Renada): And your presence is powerful because when you stand in the places and spaces marked out just for you, it builds and blesses the people around you. It gives them an opportunity to see goodness, to experience goodness. The same way that we are reminded that before we were formed, we were known. There are places, large places, that have been marked out just for our presence to exist, for us to stand fully and confidently equipped to do the things that we were made to do that no one else can do but you.

0:37:32 - (Renada): Nobody else can do it the way that you can. Nobody else knows what you know. Nobody else has experienced things the way that you have experienced them. So everything, every single detail that went into making you who you are matters. It is valuable, it is important. Other people need to know. They need to see. Give yourself grace. Give yourself permission. Give yourself a voice to stand and take up space in the place carved out just for you today.

0:38:14 - (Renada): Make your moments matter today so that you give yourself the goodness you deserve to live in the light of truth. I am so proud of you and I am so hopeful that starting today, you will see yourself, you will see your place and space, and you will say, yes, I am here to stand in the fullness of me. I am here to stand in the place carved out just for me. I am here to say, I know my voice is valuable, I know my presence is powerful, and I will speak my truth in love.

0:38:52 - (Renada): I will recognize that I have been given a gift to be strong and courageous. I will put on as a chosen one compassion, kindness, patience. I will give myself that time. I will give myself the opportunity to know that my gifts will make way for me as I stand in the spaces carved out for me. Be gracious with yourself, be patient and loving to yourself today. I thank you for sharing in this time and I hope that this blessed you.

0:39:32 - (Renada): Please, please know that you are deserving of good and that you deserve to take up space today. You got this. You are doing the work, you are doing the things, and you need to be proud of yourself. Celebrate your wins and share them with me. Visit me@loveworthwork.com and share the goodness, share the stories I want to hear, I want to share, I want to be able to celebrate your wins with you. Know that I am praying for you and that I love you and we will talk soon.

0:40:10 - (Renada): Have a great day, y'all. Bye, Ram. Sam. Sam.