Protect Your Peace

Renada is a motivational speaker and life coach who is passionate about helping individuals find peace and fulfillment in their lives. She believes in the power of self-love, self-worth, and self-work to create a positive mindset and achieve personal success.

In this episode, Renada discusses the importance of peace in our lives and how it can be achieved both internally and externally. She emphasizes that peace is not just a state of mind, but also a reflection of the conditions in which we exist. Renada shares universal truths to guide our understanding of peace and offers practical tools to remain in peace and pursue it in all aspects of our lives. She encourages listeners to recognize that other people's energy should not become their reality and that their vision for themselves should guide their energy. Renada also highlights the power of peace and the importance of self-advocacy in protecting our peace.

Key Takeaways:

1. Peace is a combination of internal and external factors.
2. Other people's energy should not define our reality.
3. Our vision for ourselves should guide our energy.
4. Peace is power and should be protected.
5. Taking pauses, saying no, setting boundaries, and self-advocating are essential in protecting our peace.

Transcript

0:00:25 - (Renada): Hey, good day. Good day. May this be not only your blessing, but your mindset, because today was made just for you. It was made so that you understand the goodness of who you are, so that you see the greatness of who you are and so that you have an opportunity to know and take away. Heaven designed this day with you in mind so that you receive everything that you need to be the best version of yourself, for yourself, so that you get to succeed.

0:01:08 - (Renada): That is a blessing that the Lord God of all creation intends goodness for you today. And so we are going to start the day with some self love, some self worth, and a little bit of self work. We're going to get in there. We're going to dig through the depths of who we are to recognize those things that are wonderful about us and maybe those things that need to be a little bit tweaked, a little bit changed, a little bit redefined, so that you begin and end each day with the goodness that you are so deserving of.

0:01:49 - (Renada): I'm renata. I'm so excited and I'm so glad that you are here. Thank you so much for listening and sharing in these moments and in this time. And so let's move along. Let's get into it, because today we're talking about peace. And peace can be one of those subjects that garners a lot of different insights or opinions because some people believe that peace is just a state of mind. You have it within yourself.

0:02:25 - (Renada): And some people believe that peace is just an environmental aspect of life, that it's about the conditions in which you exist in. And they're both right. Both of those views and opinions are right. And we're going to talk about both because the Lord God of goodness and mercy has promised us both. He has promised us to have peace within ourselves and peace around us. So let's get into it and let's talk about it, because we're going to answer the question, how do we give ourselves the space and the tools to remain in peace and at peace no matter what is happening around us and to pursue peace no matter what's happening within us?

0:03:21 - (Renada): So let's talk about it. And one of the things that I want to start with is some universal truths to understand as we move forward in the conversation. We're going to build a little context so that as we talk about things, we can look, engage and see, okay, does this reflect the truth? Because if we're not gauging things against the truth, if we're not testing it to determine whether or not it's true, sometimes we can take a little bit of a lie and apply it to how we see ourselves or to how we pursue the vision of ourselves, and we end up out of line, misaligned with our purpose or misaligned with our intentions.

0:04:10 - (Renada): So we're just going to hold these truths so that we use them as a gauge. And the first truth is, when I'm talking about energy, when I say energy, I am talking about the active sense of being, not an ethereal idea or like a cosmic concept of energy, like the universe. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about actual energy, your active sense of being and what that entails and consists of, right? So that's the first truth. The second truth is that other people's energy shouldn't be your reality.

0:05:01 - (Renada): Other people's energy should not be your reality. We'll talk about it. Let it sit. Your vision for yourself guides your energy. Your vision for yourself will guide your energy. The last one, the peace that you hold is power. Peace is power. Okay? So we have those truths. We have that understanding. Let's sit with it for a second. Let it resonate. Do you agree? Is it weird to you? Is it foreign to think about energy in this way or peace in this way?

0:06:05 - (Renada): Just take a moment. That's okay. So now I have a question for you. Have you ever walked into a place, it could be work, it could be the mall, a store, a restaurant. Have you ever walked into a place and instantly you knew that something is off here. The sense of being that these people have, something is not right. Have you ever gotten that sense? And then if you got it, what did you do? Did you instantly turn around and walk out? Or did you say, Is it me? Did you check in with yourself? And you were like, oh, maybe it's just me.

0:06:56 - (Renada): Let's see how this plays out. And so you went in, and then at some point in time, what you first knew and recognized was actually the truth. And you were like, man, why did I stay here? Why did I even I have been there. I have done that. So it used to happen so often to the point that I had to have a real heart to heart with my husband because I hate going to a restaurant and feeling like the service wasn't worthy of what we spent or the quality of food was not what we were expecting. And that little feeling of disappointment will nag at my brain because then I'm like, I could have made this at home and it wouldn't have even cost this much.

0:07:54 - (Renada): What a waste. That used to be a real struggle for me. But we would go into a restaurant and I would know when I walked in, the person at the front, their energy, their sense of being, their active sense of being screamed, I don't want to be here. Or it screamed, you're bothering me. What do you need? No, we should have left. So that taught me a lesson. It taught me to instantaneously as soon as I walk in, to see peace, but to also understand the energy that I was coming to the situation with that other people were coming to the situation with.

0:08:51 - (Renada): Because other people's energy shouldn't be your reality. If other people have the sense of being that says, please leave me alone, the reality is you shouldn't be offended, you should just leave them alone. If other people's energy says, this is not actually worth my time, you should not expect them to do anything outside of what they are showing you. When we put expectations on other people, when we hold people to undue obligations, we are taking from our own peace because other people's energy should not become our reality, you have the ability to say, okay, in this moment, this is what the energy is saying in this room.

0:09:55 - (Renada): This is what the energy of this person is communicating. Their active sense of being is such that if I give my energy, if I give time, if I give resources, will I receive? What would build or bless me? Because it's not about expectation. Will it build or bless me? And if it won't, then you have to decide, are you going to continue moving forward? It's a real question and that's what I had to learn and am still learning.

0:10:45 - (Renada): Because in order for you to pursue peace, you have to be willing to see that other people's energy does not have to be, should not be your reality. And that's hard. Especially as a parent, that is hard as a spouse, it's hard. Wherever you are in close proximity with other human beings, it is not easy to ensure that other people's energy does not become your reality. So in the season of teenagehood teenageness, I had to set in my mind that I would not allow my children to change my mood.

0:11:46 - (Renada): And I have to be steadfast in that. There are hormonal things happening, pubescent things happening, life things happening, and these are things that they bring home from school. These are things that are just a part of the coming of age process. And it can be a challenge to stop and say their energy is not my reality. Because there are moments when I instantaneously want to respond and say, hey, who are you talking to?

0:12:35 - (Renada): Hey, why did you do that? Or you know what? No. And sometimes I do. But there are other times when I can feel that this is a moment for them, this is a challenge for them. And in order to break a cycle and in order to ensure that I remain objective so that I am not responding to them at their level, got to pursue peace. Your energy does not have to be my reality. My reality is I can walk away. My reality is I can speak the truth in love.

0:13:23 - (Renada): My reality is I can ask a question. My reality is I'm going to continue doing what I already intended and set my mind and my sights on. And you're not going to deter me with your mood or your energy, you get to decide your reality. That is why other people's energy should not be your reality. You walk in a store, somebody's rude. Your reality is you can turn around and walk out. You can turn around and take your money where you want to spend it and you feel it will be valued so that it bills and it blesses you.

0:14:04 - (Renada): Your reality is you don't have to continue in that conversation on the phone. You can politely say, okay, now doesn't seem to be the right time to have this conversation and that is not a problem. I have other things I can do too, so I'm going to hang up now. Thank you for your time. Goodbye. That's it. You have a bunch of meetings in the day. Your reality is you don't have to let the frazzled energy of other people become your reality. You can say, All I can do is all I can do.

0:14:44 - (Renada): This is how I will use my time today. This is how I will measure success for myself today. I don't have to live according to expectations or obligations. That is also a reality. And one of the beauties of getting to a place where you understand that peace is not just for within you, but it is for outside of you too, is that the Lord God, who is the creator of all things, has given us an understanding of peace. Because peace is a byproduct of your position and your purpose.

0:15:31 - (Renada): Where you are, where you stand, the spaces carved out for you to do good, your position and your purpose are what bring you peace. Position the things external, purpose, the things internal. The peace that you have is supposed to be a combination of both. And it is such a gift because it comes from knowing that you don't have to manage everyone or everything. That's not your job. All you have to do is just own you.

0:16:16 - (Renada): The joy in that, the joy that comes from knowing all I have to do is own myself, do what I am supposed to do in this situation, create the environment around myself that builds and blesses others as well as deposits good into me. That's it. And when your position is to just own you and to just be you, there is so much solace and peace that comes from, okay, I don't have to be the solution, I don't have to be the fixer, I don't have to carry the burdens, I don't have to bear the shame.

0:17:05 - (Renada): No, just own you. And then it's also standing in the places that were carved out for you to do the good works to fulfill your purpose and to know, okay, this is what I'm setting my sights on doing this day. This is what I am intent on accomplishing in this season. Because having the comfort and the satisfaction of a job well done, knowing that you are sowing right, you're giving yourself the time the space, the opportunity to walk through those open doors, to see the good of yourself, to pour goodness into yourself so that it overflows for other people.

0:17:56 - (Renada): There's peace in that, in knowing I did all I could do. In John 14, verses 26 and 27, the Messiah says that he left his peace with us. He gave it to us as a gift. And it is not the kind of peace that the world gives. That's the environmental peace, but it's the peace that says that our hearts don't have to be troubled or afraid. That's the internal peace. So there's the peace from the environment that's when you hear people say, oh, I just want some peace and quiet. That's the vacation living where you go somewhere and you do something new and you don't have to worry about the stressors and the factors of life around you every day, right? Peace and quiet.

0:18:56 - (Renada): Or even if your vacation is not so quiet, at least it's peace and change. And then there's the peace of mind, the peace that surpasses the understanding of your mind. That's the peace of the inside, the internal peace, the peace that transcends the situations around you, the peace that propels you forward even when everything else wants to hold you back. The piece that says you are deserving and you are worthy of and you should give yourself the best of and you should hope for and look forward.

0:19:45 - (Renada): That's the piece that says what has happened to me, what I have been the victim of or what I have experienced does not define me. I'm going to take away the lessons, remove the emotions so that the lesson remains and I can move forward in peace, in assuredness, in knowing that I am worthy, I am deserving. That's that kind of peace. So I'm not afraid and I'm not troubled because I have peace. So how do we even understand how to get to peace?

0:20:41 - (Renada): How do we even know how to give ourselves the tools to be in peace? Because it's not easy. And everybody has different theories, everybody has different concepts of what peace is and what it's supposed to look like. And true, it is determined by people. But that's where that number two comes in, that your vision for yourself will guide your energy. So how do you see yourself? And the best example that I've ever read of how to see yourself for the sake of peace is Psalm 23.

0:21:37 - (Renada): David in that psalm so perfectly characterizes what peace is and explains the beauty of it because he makes it almost three dimensional. He says that the Lord, as he is being shepherded by the Lord, that he doesn't want for anything, right? And then he says that he's being led by still waters and his soul is being restored. There's peace there. He's being led on paths that cause him to see and understand and to define himself, rightly?

0:22:22 - (Renada): And then he even further defines what peace is. Because he's saying, even when I'm walking through the valleys, where I would normally be afraid, because there's shadows and there's death and there's suffering and there's challenge, I won't be afraid because you're comforting me and you're preparing a table before me. Even where those who would seek to challenge me, those who would like to take my peace, have to witness that not only are you a provider of peace, but the peace belongs to me as well.

0:23:15 - (Renada): That's that same. My peace, I give to you. I'm leaving this peace with you. It is now yours. You have every right to have peace, but it also is about how you envision yourself, because how you see yourself is how you're going to direct your energy, right? I used to see this in the classroom all the time. There would be a child who would be struggling with a certain concept or not really connecting with the foundational ideas of something, usually math or science or sometimes spelling or reading, but they just didn't understand it. They just could not grasp it.

0:24:01 - (Renada): And it would make them see themselves as less than they weren't as smart as the other kids in the class, or they couldn't do what the other kids could do. And they would start to doubt themselves. The vision of themselves would diminish. And so then I would come and I would ask them questions, leading questions, questions that would help them to see the answer, to see themselves, to see what they already knew. So what do you already know about this? Tell me what you already know.

0:24:31 - (Renada): And then they would start to tell me what they know. And then I would say, okay, so how does what you know apply here? How can you use what you already know? Start with what you already know. And then they would work it and start to figure it out. And then their eyes would start to brighten and their smiles would just start to stretch across their faces a little more. And then they're like, oh, I got it.

0:25:02 - (Renada): Yeah, you do. You already had it. You already had it. But sometimes your vision has to be refined. Sometimes you have to get to the space where you're asking yourself those questions. What do I already know? Where am I already giving energy and time? Where am I already choosing to not be in peace? What have I already accepted in place of where I was solid? That matters. And when you start to look at what it is you already know what it is you already hold, then it's easy to see, okay, this is the vision that I had of myself, and that's why my energy was going that direction.

0:25:49 - (Renada): I already felt guilty for not giving my kids enough time. That's why I was buying them all of the things in replacement of my presence. Or I already felt guilty for taking a day off of work when I knew there was a big project. So that's why I was willing to put myself last and take on all of this extra workload to prove I was a team player. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. That is not why you have life and breath.

0:26:24 - (Renada): Your life and your breath and your time and your energy were not meant to walk around proving who you are to people. But it is a gift so that you have the opportunity to show love, to show intention, to show kindness, to show sincerity. Not proving, but showing. I can show you that I am willing to work for the good of the team without having to take on additional burdens. I can show you that I love you without feeling like I have to prove my love by living in extremes or meeting your every demand and desire.

0:27:11 - (Renada): That doesn't leave me in peace. Right. Because the vision that we have of ourselves will guide our energy. And you have every right to have the vision of yourself align with what you intend, where you want to go, who you want to be, and then direct your energy that way. Let your active sense of being move in the direction of what you see for yourself. Because if what you see for yourself is not the same as the energy that you're giving, you're always going to find yourself out of alignment and having then to say, oh well, that wasn't my intention.

0:27:58 - (Renada): Oh well, maybe I don't know why I did that. I used to tell my children one of the rules that I had is if you don't know, don't do. If you don't know why you're doing something, then don't do it. Ask a question. Because a lot of times we end up expending and using our active sense of being in a way that does not accomplish anything. And when we look back over our time, we have no idea why we did that.

0:28:34 - (Renada): We have no idea why we were using our resources in that way. If you don't know, don't do it. And if it doesn't align with the vision that you have of yourself. Let's say your vision is to own a business. If your vision is to own a business, then your energy should be directed on learning about that field, understanding the resources that you'll need to invest in yourself to start that business, understanding the market, understanding the customer that you will be serving or the clientele.

0:29:25 - (Renada): If you don't get a clear vision, then most of your energy is going to go the wrong place and you'll end up feeling like, oh man, that was time wasted. That was money wasted. Yeah. Because when our vision for ourself guides our energy, then our energy is going to be used in a way that builds and blesses us to accomplish that vision. It's no different than a goal. It letting that settle, letting it resonate.

0:30:14 - (Renada): The last one is that our peace is our power. Because when you give up the ability to be steadfast, to be unmoved, unfazed, unbothered, you're giving up power. You're giving other people the impression that they get to decide that for you. Well, if you walk into this store and I act like I don't want to help you, and then you respond with an attitude, then I don't have to help you. I won. Because you were moved where you should have been. Unmoved, unfazed.

0:30:54 - (Renada): You became moved and phased. It's no different than telling somebody that they get to decide how you respond to a situation. Nobody deserves that power. So this past weekend, we went to eat at this restaurant, my husband's favorite restaurant. It's his birthday month, so we celebrate the whole month for our birthdays. So we took him to his favorite restaurant, one of his favorite restaurants, and they make guacamole at the table for you. It's table side made, and you get to essentially tailor it, ask them to put the things that you want in it.

0:31:44 - (Renada): Well, there was a younger guy who was making our guacamole, and he starts to put in tomatoes. And as he started to put in the tomatoes, I said, oh, can you not put in so many tomatoes? Well, I don't know if he was offended that I did not want so many tomatoes or if he was upset that I dared to speak to him while he was in the process of making this guacamole. I don't know. I'm not going to assume that's unnecessary energy that doesn't align with the vision I have of myself. My vision is not to be the great detector and knower of people's intentions, not my job.

0:32:31 - (Renada): So my energy can't go there. But I do know that he was bothered by it and rolled his eyes and huffed and scooped out the tomatoes and threw them into the bucket. But he didn't say anything. And I said, oh, is he okay? And I asked everything okay? There was no response. So I assumed that my question was, in essence, a check for himself to make sure that he was giving the right energy. Because you're here.

0:33:15 - (Renada): You chose to be here. And whether or not you wanted to voluntarily make this guacamole, that's your job at this moment. And if you're giving the best of yourself to what you're doing right. If other people's energy is not my reality, and if the vision that I have of myself has to guide my energy, it's not worth it to be irritated or upset. I'm just going to ask a question because I could have said, oh, no, you know what? We don't want it. You could take it.

0:33:48 - (Renada): That's not good energy guacamole. That's obligation guacamole. That's hesitation and frustration guacamole. So it's probably not going to taste very good, and it didn't really taste very good, but that's neither here nor there, because in the moment I got to decide to remain unbothered. I had the opportunity to remain unfazed and not allow someone else's energy to be my reality and therefore still my power.

0:34:29 - (Renada): I remained in power, did not embarrass myself, did not embarrass my children, did not embarrass my husband, did not disrupt our meal over someone else's energy. That's a win. Because I told you all earlier that used to be a nixer for me. I'd say, oh, we're good, we're done. As a matter of fact, we'll take the check and whatever we've had up to this point, that's what we'll pay for. Because I know that the rest of this meal probably isn't going to be very good if this is the energy.

0:35:04 - (Renada): But I didn't do that because I have the opportunity to remain in peace and in power. I have the opportunity for the vision that I have of myself, who I am. I'm only using my energy to support that vision. My active sense of being will be on what I see of myself and where I intend on going. Because your energy, sir or ma'am, not my reality, it was a challenge. But I'm very proud of myself. I am very proud of myself. And I told my husband, I said I'm proud of myself.

0:35:51 - (Renada): And he smiled and he said he was proud of me too. That always makes my heart happy when he says, yeah, I'm proud of you too, babe. So how can we, what tools can we use to understand these truths and to hold them in our day to day, to make sure that other people's energy is not our reality, to make sure that our vision, the vision that we have for ourselves, guides our energy, rightly? And to make sure that we understand that our peace is power.

0:36:33 - (Renada): First you pause. And whether this pause looks like just stopping, literally stopping where you are, or taking a breath, holding your tongue, settling your mind and your spirit, by remembering my feet are planted solidly on the ground, I have control of myself, I am capable, I am possible. I don't have to respond negatively. Even if that is how you take a pause, you deserve that. Because Proverbs 1728 tells us that even a fool, if they choose to be quiet, is considered wise.

0:37:33 - (Renada): And we also know that everyone, james One, I'm sure we've all heard that verse, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. That's your pause. Let me slow everything down, let me slow this all down so that somebody else's energy does not become my reality. And after you take that pause, you can say no. Where it doesn't align, where the vision that you have of yourself is not in alignment with what you are being asked to do or expected to do, or what you're considering doing. If it doesn't align, it is okay to say no.

0:38:21 - (Renada): It is okay. You have the right, you deserve to be honest and say, no, I would not like to do that. No thank you, I'm not interested. That's my favorite one. When someone would bring me something or want to volunteer me for something, no thank you, I'm not interested. Even I even have to tell myself that when it comes to certain news stories, if I know that there's an intention behind it that would like for me to no longer be in peace, no, I'm not interested.

0:39:10 - (Renada): Or you have the right to ask a question. What is the outcome supposed to be? How much time are you expecting for me to give to this? Where do you see this going? Would this be best served by someone else's talents and time? Is this within your wheelhouse? Will this require more from me later? You're allowed to ask those questions and you can even do a cost benefit. Well, if I give it this much time, what am I going to gain? In the end?

0:39:43 - (Renada): That's okay too. And then you also have the right to not be afraid to put distance between yourself and other people or yourself and other environments. If you know that the situation that is to come or the person that you're going to have to engage with does not build and bless you, it doesn't leave you better, or there is at some point going to be a cycle that you get looped into. You can put distance between yourself and that separate yourself or set and reinforce boundaries.

0:40:27 - (Renada): That is okay. Give yourself space and room to grow and say, you know what, I just need some time. I'll come back to you when I'm ready to talk, or I'm just going to put a little distance between us for a couple of weeks. If you could give me space, I would really appreciate that. You are allowed to do that, and you deserve to do that when you know that what you need to be in peace requires distance and space.

0:40:58 - (Renada): That is okay. The Lord even tells us that that's supposed to be the case when we know that there is a situation that doesn't build and bless us. Proverbs 1320 he that walks with wise men will be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. So that's those people who want to take your peace want to move you outside of the vision that you have of yourself, so that your energy is now your active sense of being is now not in line with how you see yourself.

0:41:35 - (Renada): You should separate yourself. Romans 1617 I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause division and create obstacles. Avoid them. If it is contrary to what you know, what you understand the truths that you have and hold, avoid them. It literally says avoid them. Put distance, separation. That is okay. You are allowed to give yourself the good that you deserve, and it doesn't have to be at your own expense.

0:42:11 - (Renada): You don't. Have to prove anything to anybody. And then don't forget to self advocate. Find your motivation. What is your motivation? Is it the vision that you have of yourself? Is it a goal that you've set? Is it a desire that you're working towards? Find your motivation. And if it requires that you find resources to support yourself in a season, find those resources. Get what you need. And if you need to define or refine that vision for yourself, do that too.

0:42:54 - (Renada): If you need to take up different habits and change your routines and replace things so that you are building and blessing yourself, you deserve that. You absolutely deserve that. Because the Lord intends for things to work together for your good. He intends that. And he does not want you to have a spirit of fear. He doesn't want you to be afraid to move in the direction of your purpose and to stand in the position that he has created for you.

0:43:31 - (Renada): Peace is a byproduct of being in the right position and accomplishing the purpose for which you have been designed. That is power. And your peace is power. You deserve to stand in it. You deserve to be whole, you deserve to be healed. Not to stand in fear, but to have power and self control. Two Timothy One Seven says that and you deserve that. So now let's self check. Let's take a moment. Let's take a minute.

0:44:12 - (Renada): Breathe, relax. Settle your mind a little bit. Are there places throughout your day or in your routine that are preventing you from protecting your peaceful? Can you identify it? How protecting your peace would change how you respond to situations or how it would impact your decision making process? Are you giving up your power? Are you allowing other people's energy to be your reality? And what changes can you make today to start protecting your peace?

0:45:13 - (Renada): Because it is a gift. And it is not just peace in the environment around you, it is peace within you. You deserve both. You serve a faithful God whose son came down on this planet to give himself for you so that you could have access to real peace. Peace in the world around you, peace within you. And in order to get into the habit of actively protecting your peace, you first have to believe that you even deserve it.

0:45:52 - (Renada): You deserve peace. You deserve to be whole. So my hope is that from today, you take away that other people's energy does not have to be your reality, that the vision that you have of yourself will guide your energy and that your peace is power. Your active sense of being has to be set on giving yourself the good that you deserve. And if that means that you pause and take a moment for yourself, do that.

0:46:30 - (Renada): If that means you say no where what you are being asked does not align with the vision you have of yourself and your values. Say no. If you need to put distance between yourself and you need to avoid people that look to create distractions and division and obstacles for you, put distance and always be about your own good by self advocating. You deserve that. And I am so proud of you for pursuing your own peace today, for understanding that it is a gift that was given to you by the son of the living God, who desires your goodness, who desires for you. To experience him in a way that resonates and reminds you that you are valuable, that you are deserving, that you are worthy and you are loved.

0:47:29 - (Renada): Protect your peace today. Make your moments matter today. Give yourself the goodness that you deserve to live in the light of truth. Don't forget to take into tomorrow the lessons of today from this time that we have shared and what you experience and encounter the rest of your day. Find the lesson. Find the lesson so that you receive your blessing from it. Be gracious, be patient, be loving to yourself.

0:48:07 - (Renada): I am so proud of you for taking these steps and spending this time giving yourself time. Keep moving forward. You got it. You are doing a good job. May the peace of Yah be yours. And we'll talk soon. Y'all have a great day. Bye.