Evolution

 Renada is a motivational speaker and life coach who specializes in helping individuals embrace self-evolution and personal growth. With her unique perspective and insights, she empowers others to recognize their worth and value, and to navigate the challenges and changes that come with each new season of life.

In this episode, Renada discusses the importance of self-evolution and how it is necessary for personal growth and recognizing one's worth and value. She emphasizes that without evolution and adaptation, nothing would exist, and that evolution is the process by which we demonstrate understanding and grow through our experiences. Renada challenges the notion that people are resistant to change, arguing that we are actually resistant to being changed by others. She shares her own experience of embracing the evolution process as a mother of a high schooler and the importance of acknowledging and honoring the season we are in. Renada encourages listeners to give themselves the space and grace to evolve, and to recognize that they have everything they need to be everything they need in this season. She emphasizes the importance of seeking truth in love, setting boundaries, and growing through the challenges and changes of each season.

Key Takeaways:

• Evolution is necessary for personal growth and understanding.
• People are resistant to being changed by others, not to change itself.
• Acknowledge and honor the season you are in.
• You have everything you need to be everything you need in this season.
• Seek truth in love, set boundaries, and grow through the challenges and changes.

If you were blessed by what you heard, share the goodness. Let's connect at http://www.loveworthwork.com 

Transcript

0:00:24 - (Renada): Hey, hey. Good day. May this be your blessing and mindset that today was made just for you. And today is a day where you deserve all of the goodness, all of the love, all of the opportunity that is in store for you. Heaven designed this day with you in mind. And today holds everything that you need to be the best version of yourself for yourself, so that you get to succeed. So let's start today with some self love, some self worth, and some self work so that you get to begin and end this day with the goodness that you absolutely deserve.

0:01:20 - (Renada): I'm Renada. Welcome. Glad you're here, and thank you so much for listening and sharing in this moment together. So without further ado, let's get started, because today we are talking about evolution, specifically self evolution. And we're going to seek to answer the question how and why is the process of evolution necessary to our journey and seeing our own worth and value? Because the reality is that without evolution and adaptation, nothing would exist.

0:02:08 - (Renada): Nothing. Think about it. Think about the phone that you use, the car that you drive, the food that you eat, the house that you live in, even the materials that you use for work, the systems, the processes, the way that we cook food. None of that would be possible without evolution. Because, in essence, when we really think about what evolution is, it is the growth, the process by which we demonstrate understanding.

0:02:53 - (Renada): The understanding of the world around us, the understanding of who we are. It is how we take in our experiences and translate them through how and what we do. And we all evolve, all of us. Whether good or bad, we all evolve. So last night we were having dinner, and my husband is taking this course in human resources, and he was interested to get our opinion about a quote that he read in his course. And the course quote was that people aren't resistant to change, they are resistant to being changed.

0:03:48 - (Renada): So he asked us what we all thought, and the kids shared their insight, and then I shared mine. And my insight was that personally, I don't agree with the quote, because if people were resistant to being changed, there was no way that they could function. If you got ready to head out of your house, you either needed to run to the store or do a quick errand or pick somebody up, or you were just going to have dinner.

0:04:19 - (Renada): And you noticed that the traffic pattern had changed, or that there was construction or road work and it blocked the normal way that you would take to get wherever you needed to go. You would have to choose a different course. If you went the direction that you normally would, even though you knew that it was either blocked or that the traffic pattern had changed, you wouldn't get to where you were going.

0:04:51 - (Renada): You would either destroy your car or you would end up arrested or have an accident of some kind that would prevent you from reaching your destination. That means that you're not resistant to being changed. You're not resistant to allowing what you see, what you understand to be interpreted and then changing how you respond through what you act or through how you act or what you do. So in talking and thinking about the quote, it made me think about how we evolve as people, how what we go through causes us to be different.

0:05:43 - (Renada): And every day we experience new things that leave us different. Every single day you make some kind of choice, decision, selection that leaves you different for tomorrow, and you enter into that next day. You enter into tomorrow with that newness. I think that the trouble that we sometimes have as humans is that we don't give ourselves the space to acknowledge or honor or grow through the evolution process, through that change process.

0:06:25 - (Renada): And that's where most of us get in trouble. Because regardless of whether or not you want to admit it or whether you're happy about it, you are not the same person today that you were yesterday. And yesterday you weren't the same person that you were two weeks ago or two years ago. There is something so profound about that understanding, about the fact that your experiences and your encounters every day change you.

0:07:05 - (Renada): That's an interesting thought, right? Have you ever really sat and thought about that? Do you appreciate that? Do you stop to recognize that you are not the same person today that you were days or weeks before? And are you proud of that person? Are you proud of who you are right now? And it isn't easy to surrender to evolution or to the process of evolution because some of us get stuck in nostalgia and wanting to hold on to what happened in the past or who other people were in the past, or what it felt like when we did this one thing this one time. Or wouldn't it be good if we could go back and relive the glory days or whatever it may be?

0:07:59 - (Renada): Some people allow themselves to become overwhelmed or resentful about how the direction that their evolution process is going in. And if you become overwhelmed, sometimes you can end up resentful, angry or bitter because you may end up feeling like you don't have what you need to meet the moment to meet who you are supposed to be today. And that's fair. We've all been there where your new and present reality feels so different from what you've experienced or encountered before or what you thought it would be like.

0:08:46 - (Renada): For me personally in this season, it is being a mom of a high schooler. Even when I say it out loud, it still feels foreign. I've never had a high school child. I've never been the mother of a 9th grade boy before. This season. And I don't even know if I fully thought about what that would be like. Obviously, that's how grades go, right? Kinder through 8th grade, and then they go to 9th grade. I knew it was going to happen.

0:09:26 - (Renada): I knew it was going to happen, but I had never experienced it before. And I think what even further complicated that for me was the fact that my 9th grade boy is on a college campus attending an early college, high school, that is even more compounding of a reality. And when I was sitting in the parent meeting that they had, they had the chief of police come out, and he was talking to all the parents, and he wanted us to understand, your children are on a real college campus.

0:10:08 - (Renada): This is not like a high school. There is real crime here. There are real adults here. We don't restrict access because it's a college campus. Obviously, the college has criteria for who gets to attend. But outside of that, there are people who come and they jog on the trails. There are teams that practice. This is a whole world. It's a whole thing. And here it is that our 14 year old child is on this campus. And he wanted us to understand, like, these kids are really walking around the whole campus at lunch. They're really going from building to building.

0:10:55 - (Renada): So talk to your kids parents. Help them to understand the gravity of the situation and the importance of being aware and having some kind of plan in place in the event that something were to happen. And I'm sitting there and I can feel the fear and the angst trying to crawl up my neck and grab me, and I had to take a breath, okay? No. Because if I would have allowed that to happen, even in the back of my mind, that little doubt of, are we doing the right thing? He could have just gone to a regular high school.

0:11:36 - (Renada): Why did we choose this? Why did we do this? Why are we letting him come to here? Why? Those are all things that are real in the moment. But then I had to settle my spirit and say, no, he deserves this opportunity. He has worked hard for this. And on top of that, hello. Don't you serve a real God? Don't you have a Father in heaven who intends his very best for not only you, but your children, too? Why would he give him this opportunity for his end to be destruction?

0:12:18 - (Renada): Come on. Come on, Renata. Come on. It's okay. It's okay. We will get through this. We can be here. And so it was that talking myself back into the present, so that I could make myself receptive to what this new season would require and being able to evolve in this process, because there's a part of me that could have said, oh, no, he's my baby. I have to keep my baby. I have to protect my baby. That's not realistic. That's stifling.

0:12:58 - (Renada): That's contradictory. That is destructive. Then I'll end up with a child who needs to go to therapy his whole life because he never had an opportunity to explore or experience the world according to the place that he was in and what was prompted and appropriate by his age. I did not want to do that to him. That is not fair. So when I talked myself out of that and realized that this was okay, this was an appropriate place, and then I had to acknowledge the season, acknowledge that this is where I am, and give myself the space and grace to be in this season.

0:13:52 - (Renada): And honestly, if I had not done that, I don't know where we would be right now, what we would be going through, because it would have been so counterproductive. And I know who I'm raising. That was a very settling truth that he knows. He understands what this situation requires of him, too. And we are all in different seasons in our life. So whether it's a new school year or it's starting a new job or a new position in your job or moving to a new place or just coming out of surgery and having to be in rehab or if you're in recovery from an addiction or if you just got married or divorced, all of those are seasons. And every season is a process of evolution for us as people.

0:14:54 - (Renada): You evolve. And the beauty of it is that the gift of evolution is one that can bless you forever if you acknowledge the season, if you honor the season, and you grow in the season. So what do I mean by that? What does that even mean? Well, evolution is a seasonal process, right? Every season has an allotted time frame, a specified time frame and a purpose. So my son won't be in 9th grade forever. There is a specified and preset amount of time that he will be a 9th grader.

0:15:39 - (Renada): Will he always be at this college campus? Hopefully he sees this through to the end and he will be here and be in a new season next year. But in this season, he's a 9th grader. And so we have to approach the situation and acknowledge the season. That okay, he's in 9th grade on a college campus in a city that isn't awfully close to where we are, but we can still get there. And so we set things in place so that we are able to operate within the understanding and acknowledging the season is just that.

0:16:24 - (Renada): It's saying that you are going through this thing acknowledging. It saying, this is a season where I am. And then you say what your season is. And when you say what the season is, you have a chance to then internalize and understand that this moment, this season, is taking space in your life so that you give yourself a chance to process, process that this is the place where you are. But it is very important that when you acknowledge the season, that you also acknowledge your own capacity, your own capabilities for this season. You are equipped. You have everything you need to be everything that you need.

0:17:23 - (Renada): You are not lacking the ability to show up for yourself in this season. You have it. It's already yours. That's the beauty of a faithful provident, sovereign God. You already have what you need for the season. Now, that's not to say that you are not going to have to be equipped with new things as the evolution process continues. But right now, where you are right now, you have everything that you need.

0:17:55 - (Renada): And that is the freeing part because you don't have to be burdened by thinking that somehow you have to be somebody other than who you are. It's not necessary. So let's just take that in. Let's let that settle. I have everything I need to be everything I need in this season. And as the evolution process moves forward, I will be equipped to continue to be capable. I don't have to be anybody other than who I am.

0:18:44 - (Renada): I hope that blesses you because it is freeing. So for me in this season, it means acknowledging I am a mom of a middle school girl and a high school boy. This is a new season. It is a new space. I have never been here before, but because I love my children, I have everything that I need to show up and be present for them. I have the ability to make time for them, I have the ability to be responsive to them, I have the ability to care for them and I have the ability and the wisdom to guide them.

0:19:30 - (Renada): Why? Because I've been through middle school before and I've been through high school before. Yes, the generation gap is real and it's obvious, but I've been there before. I have context, I have experience and I have the ability to share that with them in a way that blesses them. I can encourage them and make space for them to be affirmed every day. So that as they also navigate this new season, they are giving themselves grace and space too, because they see me modeling it for them.

0:20:12 - (Renada): And as I continue to do that and keep the lines of communication open with my husband, we are creating for them an environment that says it is safe for you to be uncertain. It is okay for you to challenge yourself, to envision yourself and to be supported. Because this season is not just about them and it's not just about us. So we all have to acknowledge we're living together, so we're sharing life, but we're each in a new space.

0:20:54 - (Renada): And you have to acknowledge that, but then remind yourself that you're capable of being here. And then you don't have to carry an entire load of burdens that you were never meant to bear by thinking that you have to be somebody other than who you are. You have everything you need to be everything that you need in this season. And then once you fully understand and process and internalize that this is your season. Right.

0:21:41 - (Renada): You get to honor the season. So honoring the season, for some people, the best example that I can give is for Christmas, right? The winter season. Tis the season. So people put up decorations. There's a whole celebration and a day, and it's an entire event, and there are days that lead up to it. And you go shopping and you visit family, and you do all of the things. That's how you celebrate the season. Honor the season.

0:22:18 - (Renada): We do it for various holidays. Honoring the season. We even do it for our birthdays. Honoring the season of the celebration of your life, your existence. Honor the season. So how do you honor the season? Well, it could look different based on where you are. So for some people, it could be learning a new skill because you're at work and you just took a promotion. And so you have to learn a new skill in order to meet the requirements of the job that you have for somebody else. If you're a caregiver of a family member, it means putting together resources so that you are able to best care for this family member.

0:23:15 - (Renada): Whether it's an adult family member or a child. You put together those resources so that you know how to meet their needs in a way that is healthy and functional while also setting boundaries so that you're not depleting yourself by trying to care for somebody else. Find the resources. Use the resources. So for someone else, it may be I have decided to retire. Well, how do you honor the season of retirement?

0:23:52 - (Renada): Well, you honor your retirement season by deciding how you want to best spend your time. Do you want to have a new hobby? Do you want to take up something new? Is there a place that you've always wanted to visit that now you have the means and the opportunity to go and see? Honor the season. It will look different for each of us, but you will know what the season requires from you. And that's part of the evolution process.

0:24:25 - (Renada): That's part of the giving yourself the goodness, investing time and energy and attention into yourself so that you meet the season with your best, giving yourself the best that you can. In this season, I am honoring the season by taking a step back and allowing my children to explore their independence. So if that means, hey, you're an athletic, so after the game, you ride the bus home. We won't pick you up or attend every game because you need to know how to draw strength from within yourself, even when there's nobody cheering you on in person.

0:25:05 - (Renada): But you know that we got your back. We know that, you know that we're here for you. So there was a game that we didn't attend so that she could experience that and come home on the bus. She needed that experience. And there was no athletics last year for our son. It is okay. You do those clubs, you explore these opportunities to be a leader and know that we're supporting you or even saying, hey, don't forget to study.

0:25:38 - (Renada): I explained how to study, gave the resources and the tools and then set the boundary. This is what your grades cannot fall below, and you have to operate in your own good to make sure that you are able to carry your own load. You know what this season requires of you, so give yourself an opportunity to have that. Or he wants to go and hang out with his friends and walk around the mall by himself and just be okay.

0:26:13 - (Renada): There are apprehensions there, but giving him opportunities, giving her opportunities, and those opportunities also allow me to discover who I am in this season. Where can I give my time and energy? Where can I be good to myself too? This podcast is a direct result of honoring the season and walking in obedience to the Lord. He said, I want you to share, I want you to speak, and I want you to do these things, the things that you do with the people who are closest to you.

0:26:52 - (Renada): Now share that. That took a lot. And when the Lord said, step away from work to mother my children and to be present for them and to do this thing, it took a lot. But I want to honor the season and to be present not just for them, but for myself too. And in two Corinthians nine, the Lord speaks to us about the importance of giving. Giving as you set your sights, giving as you intend to honor the season.

0:27:33 - (Renada): And when you honor the season by what you give, he returns it to you. He calls it being a cheerful giver. So your season deserves your best. That's why we acknowledge it first and know that we're capable, because when you know that you're capable and you know that it's possible for you, you're okay with giving cheerfully. You want to give cheerfully because you know that this thing is not outside of you, it's not outside of your ability, and you can do it.

0:28:07 - (Renada): And then you honor yourself in it by giving yourself time, learning the new things, doing the new things, accepting the challenge. So that that evolution process is a reflection of how you're honoring the season. And as you honor the season, then you get to grow through what you're going through. You get to grow in that evolution process. And that requires seeking truth in love, constantly reminding yourself that you are growing, that you are deserving, that you are capable, that you can do it.

0:28:46 - (Renada): And not being resistant or stagnant because of uncertainty or because of doubt or because of fear. You have everything you need to be everything that you need. Ephesians 411 through 16 it talks about how when we choose to seek and speak the truth in love, we grow. And it's a growth that brings us to a place of maturity where we are built up by what we go through. This season is not to destroy you. This season is not to break you.

0:29:39 - (Renada): This season is not to bind you. This season is to build you. It is to bless you. When you feel like you're not being built or blessed by the season, you need to stop and take a step back and say, am I trying to do too much? Have I acknowledged that this is even a season that I'm in? And am I honoring the season by what I am giving? And am I giving in the right places? Am I giving to myself? Or am I so focused on giving to everybody else that I am feeling diminished, that I am feeling depleted, that I am feeling uncertain?

0:30:27 - (Renada): Because if that is the case, you need to reshift. You need to refocus your perspective and set a boundary so that you can grow through what you're going through right now. And growing through a season looks different for everybody. There is no one size fits all approach. Growing through this season for me means having to set boundaries with my children. Because if my husband and I are giving them opportunity and I'm giving them my being present and I'm trying to make sure that they feel safe to explore and challenge their own capabilities, then there have to be appropriate boundaries in place and those boundaries have to be communicated.

0:31:31 - (Renada): I can't just assume that they know them because then if I'm frustrated that they're not doing what I expected or intended for them to do, that's not fair. I didn't communicate anything. So communicating those boundaries, reminding them of the truths of what they hold, and then spending one on one time with them, that's something that my husband and I started doing. Because high school and middle school can be one of those seasons where you start to feel like you're not seen or like you're alone or like nobody really cares. And then you start trying to manage yourself and you end up in situations that you could have avoided had you just opened your mouth and spoken.

0:32:16 - (Renada): We didn't want that for them. So we started spending one on one time so that they knew that they weren't alone and that they felt seen enough to share what it was they were feeling challenged in. And that's what we wanted to do. We wanted to model for them being present and growing in a season, being responsive to where the needs are. So let's stop and self check. Are you able to look back and see where you have evolved the most over the last couple of weeks or couple of months?

0:33:14 - (Renada): And is your evolution in boundary setting? Is your evolution in communicating? Is your evolution in learning to reframe your thinking? And how have you responded to the challenge or to the change of a new season? Are you doing it in a way that makes you proud? Or are you still struggling? Because you haven't even acknowledged that this is a season yet, and so you're not honoring yourself in it. And if you're not, how can you make the time today, the time and the space today to do that?

0:34:02 - (Renada): Are you giving yourself what you need? How can you give yourself what you need in this season? Are you holding on to any expectations or resentment because of this new season that you're in? Or even if it's not a new season, if you're coming out of a season and you look back and you're not happy with it because you don't feel like you grew or you don't feel like you had the chance to evolve, how can you take the time to set boundaries and reflect, to honor the season?

0:34:54 - (Renada): And those are important questions to ask yourself and to gauge, because evolution is not easy. It stretches us and pushes us to become the best version of ourselves. It requires intention. And every day is a new opportunity to acknowledge, honor, and grow through the season, so that what we are sowing to ourselves is what we expect to receive later. And you deserve the right energy and the right time in this season.

0:35:46 - (Renada): So take some time today to acknowledge this season that you're in and to honor yourself in it. Where can you grow? What do you want to have and hold as a truth for yourself moving forward? And when this season is done, you can look back and say, I'm so proud that I gave myself that, or, I'm so proud that I learned to do that. You deserve that. Be that to yourself today, because you are amazing and you are capable. And remember that you have everything you need to be everything you need in this season.

0:36:36 - (Renada): You serve a God who is faithful and loving and has equipped you to do what he has purposed for you. You got this. And know that I am here praying for and hoping for you to see you and to give you the goodness that you deserve. So make your moments matter today. Give yourself the goodness that you deserve to live in the light of truth. Don't forget to take into tomorrow the lessons of today. Evolve.

0:37:17 - (Renada): Be better tomorrow. See yourself better tomorrow. Honor yourself tomorrow. Be gracious, be patient, and be loving to yourself. You've got this. You're doing it. You're doing great. And may the peace of y'all be yours. We'll talk soon. Bye, y'all.